Lady D&D

Orcs And Ogres, Oh My!

The fellowship begins by camping out in the same lounge where they waged their first battle, interrupting five stank-ass orcs in the middle of their dinner to vanquish and loot them (and eat their roasted bunny).

GM gives us a history lesson on the Forgotten Realms:
- Loudwater – the town where we started. They’ve suffered recent harrassment by mountain attackers along with their neighboring town, Llorkh. Our band is currently in an underground compound located near a river in the foothills east of the town of Llorkh, which was burned to the ground. This area is the Wild West of the Realms – evil barons wage war for land grabs.
- Waterdeep – the Realms’ only major port, this coastal city is vital to its economic fortunes. There’s a puppet leader and peacekeepers, but no one pays attention to them; the city is dominated by thieves.
- Baldur’s Gate: the Realms’ most populous city. Its sovereign government is shaky – the king is rumored to be a vampire!
- Neverwinter: in ruin along with its neighbor, Lusken. Their people are starving. Invading hordes from the North rumored to be responsible.
- Evereska – a fortress here holds strong against Netherui, a crusading aggressor nation looking to expand their empire.
- Najara: south of Loudwater. Naga-ville. Naga society not aggressive nor very organized, but people who venture into their lands tend to disappear forever. Still, stories of rich ruins and the pull of strong magical auras attract adventurers, mystics and fortune-seekers to the area.
- Elturgard: a shining bastion of humanity, Elturgard is a lawful good city run by paladins. Their forces help keep the realm safe from evil creatures beyond the Realms.
- Cormyr: east of Elturgard, beset by the worst creatures from the wilds beyond the Realms – dragons, goblins, even the undead. Extremely militaristic culture. Allies with Elturgard, the trade route between their cities is the lifeblood of the Realms.
- Candlekeep: southern coast. Center of knowledge and wisdom, governed by wizards.
- Deep May: northern city; center of eeeevil. Orcs and ogres and trolls, oh my. Rumor has it that the undead are making the scene there now, too.
- High Forest: an entire village of 3,000-4,000 elves mysteriously disappeared from this region.

Back to the adventurers. Watch schedule for the night = Lish, Elfstar, Citlali, Blackleaf. The night passes uneventfully.

When everyone awakes, rested and ready, they decide to proceed through the north door of the room. Selene uses stealth to explore the corridor beyond while the rest stay back. Despite tripping over her feet rounding a corner, Selene successfully infiltrates and inspects a room to the NE containing a large dining table and easy chairs. Finding no one, she gives the OK for the group to come in. However, upon listening at a door near the NW corner of the table, Selene hears the sounds of fighting on the other side. The others listen too but can only determine from certain distinctive snorting sounds that orcs are among the fighters. Then, a huge BOOM! rings out, startling them and quieting the ruckus of battle.

Deciding to investigate, the group first receives a Bless from Blackleaf and Selene checks for traps and swings door open. A human in plate mail is standing across the room, pulling his sword out of an unlucky orc’s head. He leers at Selene and lunges at her; Selene dodges like a pro as he continues to try to hack her up.

Lysh steps in and, figuring that maybe he’s just muddled by the fog of war, uses her people skills and hollers, “Stop!” at him. An 18 charisma roll finds the man stopping to blink, shake his head and relax when he sees she’s no orc like the ones laying in a smoking pile around him. From behind the man steps a dwarf carrying a two-headed axe. They try peering behind Lysh to see who else is with them. They seem to see Blackstar, but Citlali and Elfstar remain in shadow, unseen. “Who are you?” the dwarf asks.

L: “I am Lish, unproven paladin of Lorm. Who are you?”
D: “Why are you here?”
L: “I asked first who you were, answer me back.”
D: “Well, Lass, you say you’re a Paladin. Why do you keep company with thieving types?”
L: “That’s none of your business.”
D: “Were you all hired?”
L: “We’re here of free will.”
D: “Ah, adventurers.” The human sheaths his sword and steps away. The dwarf indicates that they are also explorers. “Perhaps we are here on the same mission?”
L: “There are just the two of you?”
D: “There are just the three of you?”
L: “I’m certain we’re ALL telling the truth, yes? Now are we going to have a problem with you, or can we be on our way?”
The human man speaks up. “Perhaps we can share some information?”
L: “What do you want to share?”
Man: “What other creatures have you seen besides orcs here?”
L: “We saw a flaming skull.”
Man: “We saw that too. We thought it to be a trap.”

A second dwarf appears in the room. Heavily armored, this dwarf is a cleric and wears the same symbol as Blackleaf. He carries a 3-foot mini-staff topped with a crystal.

Blackleaf speaks up. “What’s up, Brother of the Tempest? You here to kick ass too?” The dwarf expresses surprise at meeting up with a fellow cleric of the order, especially a female one. He also asks about sightings of other creatures besides orcs, indicating that they’d heard there were possible undead running about. Blackleaf says that we heard the same and that they were responsible for destroying Llorkh.

The two groups decide that they pose no threat to each other and will go out and pursue their respective fortunes – the man/dwarf group to the west and our adventurers to the north/east. As the other group wishes them well and turns to leave, others emerge from the staircase to the south of the room – a wizard and a halfling holding a drawn bow. Dressed in leather, he’s probably a rogue. He waves and follows his band around the corner to the west.

Group decides to check out another door across the hall. Rogue checks for sound and traps – nothing. On the other side is a long thin room apparently used for kitchen prep. Lysh pilfers a spoon. A large pig lays half-butchered on a table. There’s a cooking pit with smoldering coals in the far corner. The group decides to stoke up the cookfire and pause for a delicious bacon feast, which they eat in peace. They go out a door around the corner to the north to a room with north and south passages. They go south to try clearing back to known rooms; southern corridor turns east and takes them back to where they met the other group. Selene inspects the northern passage with stealth and finds that it doubles back to a prior room.

Selene and Elfstar roll a d20 perception for 11 and 17 respectively; Elfstar perceives a distortion in the stone wall like an askew door. Door is checked for traps and Selene tiptoes into the room, which is dusty and unused. Selene stubs her toe on a table while trap-searching.

The others come in and they find that appears to be an abandoned wizard’s work room. A bench on the south wall is loaded with chemistry-lab stuff. Citlali searches for magic – none. Citlali and Selene each use 4 Identify spells to ID all 8 types of substances on the bench, which are: 2 bags crushed pumice, 1 jar of vinegar, 1 jar of tree sap, 1 bottle of white wine, 1 jar of bone powder, 1 jar of salt, and 1 jar of garlic. Alchemist’s stuff (and also the start of a good vinaigrette. Alas, no salad, bowl nor tongs are found.) Selene puts them all into her bag.

The group leaves through a door to the north. They find another workroom with three desks and some bookshelves. Selene grabs corked beakers colored green and purple from one desk. She also finds a small but surprisingly heavy gold box, which resists her lockpick attempt (d20 roll = 2+1). Elfstar sees bookshelves which contain books in several languages but of no apparent value to their purposes.

On the west wall is a coffin, which Blackleaf and Lysh check out. After Lysh senses no evil and two people trap-check (Elfstar rolls d20 1, so Selene double-checks with a d20 20 roll – definitely no traps!), inside they find a dusty, dessicated corpse. Blackleaf beats at the corpse with her flail, but only kicks up dust.

Selene tries to lockpick the drawers of a desk in the SE corner that Citlali found – d20 121 roll does not work. Citlali takes a more direct approach and bashes at the locks with the hilt of her sword. d20 162 roll helps her bust those locks, and inside one of the drawers she finds an old skull with huge fangs, resembling a vampire. She detects magic in it. She puts it in a bag of holding for closer inspection later.

Inspection of a table to the NE by Blackleaf (rolls 3) and Selene (rolls d20 16). Selene finds a bag and rolls d20 3 to find it contains dried mushrooms. Selene rolls to lockpick her gold box twice, failing with a d20 6 and a d20 12. She gives the box to Blackleaf to carry – it’s surprisingly heavy; a 4" box that weighs ~10 lbs.

Selene and Elfstar roll to detect hidden doors – d20 13 and d20 8 .Selene spots a door on the north wall; she listens then sneaks through. Passages lead north and west. They proceed west down hall to a room with a southern passage. Selene follows this passage and it leads to the room west of the wizard room. The west room turns into an angled southwest corridor. Selene investigate. Elfstar and Selene roll d20 for perception: Elf 14, Sel 5. Elf sees something askew on the NW wall – finds a hidden door. Elfstar rolls a d20 listen for 18 and hears muffled voices, probably orcs. Selene opens the door and heard orc grunts. Blackleaf casts Bless.

Lysh enters room, which is dark – sees outlines of boxes to her right. Everone rolls Initiative: Citlali 9, Selene 2, Lysh 7, Elfstar 1, Blackleaf 2. Citlali casts a light spell in front of Lysh, which reveals… Five Orcs lurking in the rest of the room! Orc 5 runs at Lysh, but in the rush of bloodlust he trips and drops his sword. Orc 4 attacks Blackleaf in the doorway, but misses her. Orc 2 attacks Lysh and scores a hit with a natural 20. Lysh takes 2 points damage.

Selene backs up outside the room and uses stealth + short bow on Orc 4 in the doorway. d20 roll = 31; the arrow bounces without hitting. Orc 1 stands back, mining his nose for black gold. Blackleaf makes sure Lysh doesn’t need a heal, then attacked Orc 4 – rolls 132 for 15 total, which hits; 1d6 roll = 2 pts damage; orc screams but stays feisty. Elfstar rolls against Orc 4 with a 4 and misses. Orc 3 inspects Orc 1’s nose for black gold.

Round two – Lysh heals for 1 and attacks Orc 5, rolling a 162 with 21 points damage. Orc 5 is feeling it now, man. Citlali takes a swing at Orc 4 for a 161 hit; GM jinxes her 2d4 roll by calling double 1’s, which she gets. Orc 5 tries to punch Lysh, misses, falls pathetically into the boxes. There’s a +4 hit bonus for whoever goes at him next, the loser. Orc 4 swings and misses at Blackleaf. Orc 2 misses Lysh. Selene sneaks a bow shot at Orc 4 for 153= 18; damage is 5 and that means one dead Orc 4. Orc 1 continues to hide his finger up his nostril and chill.

Blackleaf brings her beatdown to Orc 2 – 16+1+1 = 18 hit, and a 5 damage roll makes Orc 2 howl in agony – he’s not long for the world. Elfstar shoots her arrows of doom at Orc 3 – 15+1 = a hit, which 1d8 roll of 5 proves to be another dead eyehole shot. One shot, one kill is her motto.

Lysh heals up and melee attacks Orc 1 but misses. Citlali puts Orc 5 out of his clutzy misery with an 87 total bonus for 15 and 5 in damage. Orc 2 swings at Blackleaf but misses. Selene’s 51 sneak shot misses Orc 2. Everyone rolls D20: Citlali 17, Elfstar 15, Blackleaf 3, Selene 16 and Lysh 14. Elfstar and Selene, still in the hallway, hear a shuffling, huffing, very heavy thing thumping down the hall toward them. They get nervous.

Orc 1 swings at Lysh but misses. Blackleaf takes on orc 2 but misses with a 3. Citlali’s pointy ears perk up and she hears the shuffling beast sounds too. Elfstar gets into the room, sneaks behind Orc 1 and shoots an arrow up close but only rolls a 1 – her arrow zooms past the orc and barely misses Blackleaf’s head. Friendly fire isn’t! Lysh hits Orc 1 with a natural 202, kapow – 2 damage roll leaves him wounded but alive. Citlali misses Orc 1 with a 92 roll. Orc 2 attacks Blackleaf and scores 6 pts damage, ouch. Blackleaf cleverly light wound heals herself for 4 and feels better.

Selene runs into the room and attempts to backstab Orc 2 – 6+2 roll means her dagger misses its target. Orc 1, however, decides it’s game over and sags in defeat; Elfstar gets a free hit against him and her longbow tags him with a 19. Damage = 9, which means a solid kwthwunk of an arrow into the back of Orc 1’s brainpan. Blackleaf rolls a perception D20 for 11 and senses a large presence in the hall outside the doorway. An ogre appears, and man is he ever pissed off at smelling so many dead orc buddies!

Lysh attacks orc 2 and her 18 roll earns her a skull-smashing victory. Citlali grabs Blackleaf’s collar and yanks her into the room while kicking the door closed with her foot (13 dex roll, needed 12). Ogre is closed out and paces outside the room, moaning over how to get in. Two additional sets of large footsteps indicate that he has buddies. They talk then argue among themselves. They begin pounding on the walls, trying to get inside the room.

The group decide to loot orcs right quick while they wait to see what the ogres will do. D20 rolls for all: Citlali 13, Elfstar 5, Selene 15, Lysh 3, Blackleaf 13. Selene pockets 10 gold pieces from her orc corpse. Mid-looting, the ogres suddenly smash in the door, splintering it.

Initiative rolls commence. Selene runs to a table in the back of the room and stands atop a table for better bow range. Blackleaf and Citlali are nearest the door, and dex rolls of 10 and 7 mean that they both take some wood scraps in the kisser for 1 pt of damage each. Ugly ass Ogre 3 steps into the doorway, with his fugly buddies lined up behind him.

Citlali, as is her wont when confronted by monster crotches, takes a hard swing at Ogre 3’s testes. 191 roll means she connects with the balls, and 6 total damage means he’ll be singing soprano in the ogre choir. He bellows but stays feisty. Selene shoots her bow for 131, which makes her arrow miss its mark. Blackleaf wonders whether she can use a one-word command spell on Ogre 3, the word in question being “SUICIDE”. DM warns that such spells work better the smarter a creature is, but ogres being mental midgets, it may require a very high roll to succeed. Blackleaf then considers soundburst, but in the end steps back instead and casts Bless for the group to provide +1 hit and +1 saving throws.

Lysh attacks Ogre 3 – 14+3 bonuses means a hit. 2 damage. Ogre is mad.

The game is adjourned at this point due to DM’s crash. Pissed-off ogres await our return to play!


HAHAHA very nice, great job Tracy!

Orcs And Ogres, Oh My!

This is epic. Tracy rolls a 20 on the liveblog action!

Orcs And Ogres, Oh My!

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